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Gurglings of a Putrid Stream

Thoughts on books and other assorted topics.

See also:  http://goppf.wikidot.com/swstart

My name:  Brian Martin

A Story Horror Fans Might Appreciate

You know how, when you're a kid and you hear something, it has a way of sticking with you well into adulthood as a plain fact? Of course, if you're lucky, you come to realize later in life that George Washington did not in fact have wooden teeth (although you might wish he had: they were made of gold, hippopotamus ivory, lead, and human and animal teeth) and that, no, nobody ever woke up in a bathtub full of ice with their kidney missing and a note taped to the wall telling them to call 911.

I mentioned earlier that I've been watching Columbo. And what do we know about Peter Falk? That he had a glass eye, of course. I mean, that's what I heard when I was a kid and I never questioned it. Not until my wife, who had never seen the show before, was watching it with me and remarked on Falk's "lazy eye." As I was telling her about his glass eye, it suddenly struck me that I really had no confirmation of this. So, the next day, I checked it out.

I'm happy to report that Falk did indeed have a glass eye, although probably by the time of Columbo he had replaced it with a plastic one, which, he said, was both lighter and more comfortable. He had lost his eye when he was only three years old and wore the glass eye through childhood.

Anyway, this is all just lead-in to a story of Falk's that he gave to an interviewer with Cigar Aficionado magazine that I just had to share.

Despite having only one good eye, Falk played baseball as a kid. He says, "I remember once in high school the umpire called me out at third base when I was sure I was safe. I got so mad I took out my glass eye, handed it to him and said, 'Try this.'" He adds, "I got such a laugh you wouldn't believe."